So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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