you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
