I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Randomize
