Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
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