The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
