Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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