Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Randomize
