i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
