it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
