ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
