Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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