So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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