you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Randomize
