smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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