I haven't been this sober since birth.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
