We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I got inside last night via doggy door
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Randomize
