We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Randomize
