I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Randomize
