when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I could fuck to npr.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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