The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
No stitches, just platelets and will power
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
