are you still at the devil's house?
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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