no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I have tasted many bathrooms
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
