Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Randomize
