I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Randomize