pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
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