bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
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