The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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