No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Randomize
