McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
