Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
