Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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