So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
