Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
