it's too hot outside to masturbate.
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
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