I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
