i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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