we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
