Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
