Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
