dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Randomize
