thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Randomize
