dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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