If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
Randomize
