just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
