11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
i jhust puked up my retainher.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
It's never too late to be topless.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
