"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
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