you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
