like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
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