I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
