Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
