Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Randomize
